Because of the rapid nature of the birth, I wasn't organized with taking pictures, so we ended up with very few pictures. I realized I hadn't taken any with our midwife or her apprentice.  So, here's one we took on their follow up visit.  Mani is the apprentice, on the left, and Shell is the one holding Finley.

 

I suppose it’s time to share the exciting story of Finley’s birth.  Some lucky people have gotten to hear all of the gory details over the phone, some people actually got to be here after the fact to witness the carnage, and only two of us were actually here for the birth itself.  Amazing.

 

When you’re planning something, I think you always need to keep in mind that the best laid plans can just go to hell in a handbasket in an instant. You know, we planned so much better for this birth than the last one, researching healthy lifestyle changes from the beginning, attending Bradley classes, etc.  In some ways I suppose it’s lucky that we were ready for anything, but at the same time, all of the many things I had ready for the birth process at home were kind of abandoned in the rush of having the baby.  I had a lovely pile upstairs including suckers, lip balm, honey, frozen chicken soup for energy, oil, lavender scent, candles, bath bubbles, an iPod playlist specifically for the birth… the list goes on and on.  So much for that!  So, down to the story itself…  This is quite long, sorry if you don’t want this much detail, but I know some people probably will.  As will I, for my memories.  Here is the abridged version, if you prefer… otherwise, read below.

 

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Finley Joshua was born after a 2-hour labor, arriving 10 days after his original anticipated due date of Dec 5.  He was born, unassisted, at home; a surprise arrival for mom and dad.  Dad made it just in time to catch him, and the support staff (midwife, assistant, grandpa and granny) showed up an hour or more later.  Everyone is doing great and it was quite an exciting process from start to finish.  An exciting start to what I’m sure will be a great life for Finley.  We welcome Finley Joshua Custer, born 4:21 pm 12/15/08, weighing in at 9 lbs, 6 oz and 21” long.

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As many of you may already know, Finley (or JJ, as we affectionately call him, for Josh Jr) was actually due on Friday, Dec 5.  We met with the midwife (Shell Walker) right around the due date, but no actual progress on moving towards having a baby.  Because we were going the natural route, I never actually had a vaginal exam prior to the birth.  OB/GYN’s like to check you a lot, but it becomes a bit misleading because it tends to get your hopes up (“oh, I’m 3 cm and 90% effaced? The baby must be coming soon!”) when realistically it means very little.  And, it opens you up for infection.  So, we opted out of being examined at all.  Who knows, that might have been a small mistake, maybe that would have led me to be a bit more prepared for what happened.  But, maybe not.

 

After we were a week late, the midwife suggested we go in to get what’s called a non-stress test, or NST, and ultrasound to check on the baby’s health, as well as the health of my placenta and amniotic fluid.  We played the dates a little bit based on what the one ultrasound we had had said (they told us the 7^th rather than the 5^th).  I was anticipating going really late and didn’t want to end up having to be induced.  So, I made an appointment for the ultrasound for Monday the 15^th.  In the meantime, still not much going on in my uterus.  I had had a lot of Braxton Hicks (false or practice) contractions all along, so I thought nothing of the fact that I was still having them.  On Saturday I started having a few contractions throughout the day that I could actually feel, but nothing painful or significant, so I continued to think my body was just continuing to get itself prepared.  Monday I took Brie to school in the morning, stayed here and did some house cleaning, picked her up at noon, and took her out to lunch with Josh’s parents.  She was planning on spending the night there to get some quality time with them before the baby come.  I headed home after lunch (still feeling “normal”), and got home around 1.  I just diddled around the house and then around 2 started feeling some more contractions.  Ones I could really feel this time.  Maybe around 2:30 I thought “hmm, maybe I should try to time these?” but feeling a bit silly about it because I thought it was nothing. I found they were not really “regular” – ranging from 20 sec to about a minute long, and maybe every 3-4 minutes.  Our childbirth instructor had told us that if you’re going to the hospital, you need to wait until your contractions are a minute long every 3 minutes for 2 hours, at which point you will be about 5 cm dilated.  So, I think “well, I’ll just wait”.  I feel silly because it’s my second birth, but I’m still kind of clueless because Brie’s birth was totally not normal and I had no indication of labor or what it would “really” be like.

 

I left the house at 2:45 for my 3 pm appointment.  I got about a mile down the road and had a contraction that took my breath away (at home I’d been thinking that I was sure as soon as I got in the car my contractions would stop – you learn that false labor will cease when you change activities).  I thought “maybe I shouldn’t be driving!”  So, I called the place where I had my appointment and apologized to them, telling them if I didn’t have the baby I could reschedule for Tuesday.  I then headed home.  This was at about 3:00.  At this point I called Josh and told him I thought maybe this was it and maybe he should head home.  I also called the midwife, who by chance was checking people in Sedona, and left her a message not to rush, but maybe things were starting?  I felt kind of unsure if this was it and didn’t want to give anyone false hope.  I also called my dad, who was planning on heading up for the birth.  He said they would leave right away.

 

At this point, I continued timing and found my contractions were about 45 sec to 1 min long, and ranging from about 2-4 minutes apart.  I decided to go upstairs and try the tub, as they were starting to hurt a bit more.  I got in the tub for about half an hour, and it didn’t really seem to help me much.  (Josh told me later that he thought “oh no, if the tub isn’t helping, we’re in trouble here!”  He also said that when he called to check on me and I couldn’t talk through my contractions, he realized how far along in the process I really was… I was pretty out of it so maybe I didn’t put two and two together.)  I got out and had some contractions on the floor in my bedroom (it’s maybe 3:45 by this time) and thought “dear God, I can’t do this!”  I remember thinking that if this wasn’t transition, I was totally screwed and didn’t know what I was thinking when I decided to do it at home.  I remember thinking that there was no way I could take 8 or more hours of this, and wondering when the midwife and her assistant would show up so they could check me and I could figure out how far along I was in the process.  Ah, if only I had known.  J  Josh says he feels guilty about not being there to help me, but I told him that if he had been there, he wouldn’t really have been able to do anything.  I probably would have just been mad at him.  In a way it was good to be alone because I just had to tough it out and do it, no complaining to anyone!

 

At about 4 pm, I headed downstairs to get a glass of water, because I was feeling pretty dry.  I got into the kitchen, filled my cup, and then started a contraction.  I crouched down on the floor, and then almost immediately my water broke.  At the time I thought “okay, in school they teach you always to note the time, amount, and color of your fluid.”  So, I looked at the clock (about 4:10), noted the amount, and color, and then almost immediately had another contraction and had an overwhelming urge to push.  Now, please keep in mind that Josh is not yet home.  I’m alone here!  I thought “oh crap, I am going to have to deliver this baby myself!”  Instead of staying on the floor in the kitchen, I decided to head into the downstairs guest bath and crouch over the toilet.  I had another contraction and again had to push.  I was trying not to push, wanting to not deliver on my own, but for anyone who has had an unmedicated birth, you know that’s impossible.  I felt down with the next push and felt the top of the head.  I thought “OH CRAP!”  Just then, I heard the garage.  Josh said he got out of his car and heard screaming.  He walked into the house, in his nice work clothes and shoes, and heard me scream that the head was coming out.  He said that he thought “I’m sure it hurts, but I’m sure the head isn’t coming out yet.”  Haha, little did he know!  J  He walked into the bathroom and immediately saw the head.  3 pushes later and the baby was out.  Whew… crazy.  This was about 4:21 pm (we only know that based on when Josh placed the call to the midwife to tell her we had delivered).  Josh did it himself, did awesome, and didn’t even faint with all the bodily fluids and blood.  The bathroom looked like a war zone, complete carnage.  What can you do.  We didn’t really have a choice in the matter – like I said at the beginning, good thing we were prepared for anything!  We then proceeded to sit down on the floor in the bathroom and followed the midwife’s instructions over the phone, keep the baby warm, start to breastfeed, wait for the placenta to deliver, and just wait until we arrive.  To avoid all the rest of the gory details, people started arriving about an hour later (not very convenient for JJ to come at rush hour on a rainy day in Phoenix!) and took care of the rest of the process.  Brianna was brought home at about 7 pm by grandpa and grandma, in time to meet the baby, hold him for the first time, and in general be overwhelmed by the whole thing.  We were lucky to have Josh’s parents to take her home that night, to give us some time to recuperate and bond with the new baby.  What an amazing experience.  Didn’t really happen like we expected, but it’s just as well, it went fast, we had a wonderfully healthy baby whose head wasn’t even cone-shaped because he was born so quickly, and we both got an amazing story out of it.  Who would’ve thought!!!

 

We welcome Finley Joshua Custer, born 4:21 pm 12/15/08, weighing in at 9 lbs, 6 oz and 21” long.

Welcome Finley Joshua Custer, born Monday 12/15/08 @ 4:22 pm. 9 lb, 6 oz, 21" long.  Story to follow...

 

 

 

... isn't that supposed to make babies come?

Well, no baby appearance yet.  Guess even though it's my second, my babies just like to stay in a bit longer.  Everyone kind of makes it sound like you're more likely to be early with subsequent babies, but then when you talk to people about it, many have been late with their second, third, etc babies as well.  So, no real science to this.  And due date calculation seems to be so arbitrary that you never know when the baby might come.  So, on our end, we're still waiting, waiting, waiting...

Too bad this little one doesn't get the blogging attention that Brie got when she was inside me.  :)  Guess that's bound to happen with a second.  I've been telling people how different the second seems - with your first, you spend so much time ramping up to the baby coming.  You prepare the room, get yourself ready, get so excited, but don't really know what to expect all told.  However, you get so excited that when the baby comes it's like a bif relief that you've been waiting for forever.  One of the couples from our Bradley childbirth class had their baby last week (the day after Brie's birthday), and it's lovely to read their blog and their excitement about the new one.  This time around for us is pretty different - not just because it's the second, but also because we're going about the whole thing so differently.  At this point with Brie's pregnancy we were trying to decide about induction, it was right before Thanksgiving, family was here, there was pressure to have the baby soon, etc, etc.  This one is so much more calm.  And, I think I feel like it's not very real yet.  I can't figure out why exactly that is, but I just can't believe that we will have a newborn within the next few weeks.  We didn't really do anything with the room this time, other than switch the bed back to a crib - everything else stayed the same (which reminds me, I need to take some pictures of Brie's room and post them today).  Also, we've been busy with Brie, birth class, working, house stuff, etc, etc, which also keeps our mind off the pregnancy and impending birth.  I find I'm less nervous/worried about the birth process and the baby in general than I was last time, for some reason this time I'm more concerned about how the baby will be, hoping he's healthy.  I think it might be because we didn't go more than just the sex ultrasound this time, and didn't do any genetic testing or extra ultrasounds to check on him.  I feel funny about my concerns, because for goodness sakes, women have been having babies without testing/ultrasound/etc forever without complications.  I guess I'm just one of those people who likes to know and it's strange just not knowing.  I'm sure everything will be fine, you just never know.  Anyway, can you believe we'll have a baby any time?  I can't.  How different it will be with a 3-year-old and a newborn!!!